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docweasel.com Monty Python's Flying Circus :: episodes series 4
This week's update By: doc     visit dwf forum
Series 4, Episode 43: Boxing Match Aftermath
The cast:

MR GABRIELLO
Michael Palin
FIRST ASSISTANT
(?)
SECOND ASSISTANT
Eric Idle
BLACK MAN
Terry Gilliam
FIRST REPORTER
Terry Jones
SECOND REPORTER
Carol Cleveland

The sketch:

Animation: Ends with a poster `Boxing Tonite! The Killer vs. The Champ. 15 Rounds'.

Cut to a dressing room at Madison Square Gardens, table, chairs, towels, and the usual paraphernalia. Noise of a crowd outside. The door opens and in comes Mr Gabriello, and two assistants carrying a boxer on a stretcher. Smoke, action, excitement come in with them.

Mr Gabriello
That was a great fight, Champ, a great fight, you hear! Oh boy, what a fight, Champ, what a great fight! You nearly had him, Champ, you nearly had him... where's his head?
First Assistant
I got it in here, Mr Gabriello.

He holds up a carrier bag. Gabriello goes over to it, looks inside and shouts into it.

Mr Gabriello
You were great, Champ, d'you hear, you were great!
First Assistant
(looking in the bag) He's got a nasty cut over his eye.
Mr Gabriello
Yeah, I think it was a mistake him wearing spectacles. (gives the bag to the assistant) Oh well, get that sewn onto his body in time for the press pictures.
First Assistant
OK, Mr Gabriello.
Mr Gabriello
(to second assistant) Wasn't he great my boy?
Second Assistant
He was great, Mr Gabriello.
Mr Gabriello
The way he kept fighting after his head came off!
Second Assistant
He was better when the head came off, Mr Gabriello. He was really dodging the guy.
Mr Gabriello
Yeah, I reckon that if he could've lasted till the end of that first minute, he would've had the Killer worried.
Second Assistant
Sure, Mr Gabriello.
Mr Gabriello
Oh he was great. Did you see his left arm?
Second Assistant
No!
Mr Gabriello
OK, we'll look around the hall after everybody's gone.
Second Assistant
Do you realize Mr Gabriello, some of those guys out there paid over $2,000 for a ringside seat.
Mr Gabriello
And where did the head land? Right at the back, that's justice... (the door opens; a black cleaner comes in) What d'you want?

The cleaner holds up a carrier bag.

Black Man
This your boy's head?
Mr Gabriello
No, no, we've got his head. He ain't hurt that bad.
Second Assistant
(looking in the bag) Hey, that's Gerry Marinello. He fought the Killer last week.
Mr Gabriello
OK, give it to me. I'm seeing his trainer tomorrow. I'll give it to him.

The cleaner is ushered out.

Second Assistant
Hey, Mr Gabriello. The press is still outside. Are you ready for them?
Mr Gabriello
How's the Champ?
First Assistant
(working away with needle and thread) Well, the head's on OK. But there's still a left arm missing.
Mr Gabriello
OK, well keep the dressing gown kinda loose, OK. (Gabriello goes to door and opens it) OK boys, come on in!

The press surge in. The fighter is propped up.

First Reporter
Hey Mr Gabriello, Mr Gabriello. Did you expect your boy to last the full twenty-eight seconds?
Mr Gabriello
This boy has never let me down. He's the pluckiest goddamn fighter I've ever trained.
Second Reporter
Were you worried when his head started to come loose?
Mr Gabriello
No, no, we were expecting that. I told them to expect it to and it did. He ain't stupid.
First Reporter
Hey, can we have a word with the Champ?
Mr Gabriello
Yeah OK. But keep the questions simple.
First Reporter
Hey Champ! How're you feeling?
Mr Gabriello
(angrily) I said keep the questions simple!
Second Reporter
Mr Gabriello. People are saying that the kid ought to be buried. His head's come off in the last six fights.
Mr Gabriello
There's no question of burying the kid. He's just reaching the top.
Second Reporter
Well, shouldn't he just stay in hospital?
Mr Gabriello
No, he ain't going to no hospital. He's got the return fight next week.

Shot of the `New York Times' headline `Champ to be kept alive for big return'.

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